Following on from the abuse the Jesy Nelson faced a few years back, I have finally got round to watching Emily Atack: Asking For It?.
I was horrified to hear the stories of people sending "dick pics" to her, and the stories of the other ladies on the show talking about the abuse they have suffered,
Females as young as 11-12. Children. Just stop here, and think about that. Adult males, many with wives, partners, children, and sending sexual material to children. You may know them, you may work with them.
What made it worse, when she tried to contact people who have sent the images, they blocked her, not willing to face up to what they have done.
To see a number of young girls, all of whom have received "dick pics" from as young as 12, and also getting images of middle aged men masturbating, makes me angry, but also makes me sick to my stomach,
It is a failure of not only our government and the tech companies, but also a failure of society. Parents need to understand what is happening, and should be teaching male children that this is not acceptable. The laq around this form of abuse is lacking. There are a number of peices of legislation regarding sexual activity and children under the age of 16. These can be viewed here > https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2003/42/part/1/crossheading/child-sex-offences. While this legislation deals with child sex offences, there is legislation which protects adults too.
It should not matter how someone looks, what they wear, or how they act, (including how many sexual partners theey have had) it does not give anyone permission to abuse them.
People seem to think that the abuse is limited to Twitter, but I know it happens on Instagram, Facebook, and many more platforms.
"Daddy Dave", one of the senders of abuse, hides behind perceived anonymity. I say perceived, as nothing on the internet is truly anonymous.
Emily interviewed a lady who spoke out against this type of abuse, the lady was then subjected to messages claiming she was going to be raped, or killed.
A further discussion was held with a professor who researched behaviour of men who commit serious crimes, And they normally start with less serious (but still serious) crimes, before progressing onto things like rape.
Emily spoke to the police and recanted one of the messages she received, the police outlined what they can do. They can contact the abuser, and should it continue, charge them with stalking or similar crimes.
One of the things that shocked me most, is that all of the abusers blamed the victims of abuse, making it the fault of the woman.
Emily met up with a group of men who she showed “ a couple of weeks worth of abuse” to. There were reams of paper on the flow. These men were disgusted by the amount and content of the abuse Emily has received. The men thought that it was insecurity felt by the abusers, which led to them committing the offences. While this may have a bit of truth to it, I very much doubt that they understand the damage they cause to their victims and the victims families.
One of the men came out as being bi-sexual, and he said that it changed his perception. When he came out, and he started receiving similar abuse, including pictures of other men's genitals.
Hearing Emily talk to her mother, to who Emily did not disclose the majority of this abuse for fear of hurting her mum, was heartbreaking.
This is a male problem. It is only males who send these unwanted images. It is high time that a collaborative effort was made by government, tech platforms, and society as a whole. Changing the law on its own will not work. Implementing the flawed Online Safety Bill, will not help. We need to address the issues in society, where men of all ages, think that this is acceptable.
It is a duty on all men to call this out when seen, be it a friend or a family member. You may be hesitant, as you have a close relationship with them, but think of how the victims feel. Think that, in the event their abuse escalates, that you had the ability to stop it. Call them out, and if that does not work, report them to the police.
If you see abuse on the internet, especially on Social Media, report it. Keep notes of who, what, and when, if there is a police review, it will be used as evidence.
Finally, if you participate in sending unwanted pictures of your genitalia to anyone, stop. And stop now. Seek professional help. And that goes for all elements of abuse. Do not do or say anything to anyone on the internet that you would not do in real life.
You can watch the documentary on BBC iPlayer: https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001hs5v/emily-atack-asking-for-it
Stay safe, Stay frosty
